I was listening to Rick Pitino, the basketball coach at the University of Louisville, this morning. He was saying that he controls his players’ access to social media during the season because it can be detrimental to what they are trying to accomplish in their program.

Now, I am not a face book or twitter hater but I tend to agree with the coach. There are a couple of things that bother me about social media. As parents, mentors, and teachers we need to vocalize those concerns.

1. I hate to see someone addressing a hurt, a conflict, or a disagreement in an omnidirectional way. Placing statements on Facebook, or Twitter such as ‘You are such a loser for what you did to me ’or‘ you don’t know how good you had it” really don’t accomplish anything positive. It may make the writer feel good for a time (usually a very short time), but it usually drags out the issue and rarely solves the problem. I find it is puzzling when adolescents do it but annoying when adults do it. I was brought up being told that if you have a problem with someone look them in the eye and tell them. Jesus tells us that if we see a brother sinning or even if a brother has a grievance against you, we should go to them face to face and resolve the issue.

2. I hate when people say things on social media that they wouldn’t say face to face. I liken it to an electronic “drive by shooting.” Once again, such activities really do not accomplish anything positive and usually result in greater hurt and greater animosity. Bluntly, it is a sign of immaturity. It goes against what the Apostle Paul attempted to teach to the early churches about building each other up, being humble in your own imperfection, and wanting the best for each other. Or even what my dad use to say; “If you can’t say it to their face in private, don’t say it about them in public.”

Dealing with conflict is a big part of growing up both emotionally and spiritually. We should not try to escape that important step using electronic substitutes.